News for Turn 3

The City's layout has changed! See City Map for details.

First aid for the Masses

Student 1: “So I need to hold the arm like this and then twist the body like that…“
Student 2: “OW!”
Student 1: “Oooops, sorry Pete.”
Student 3: “No no no! That's not it at all! Raphael said the arm goes under the head, not over it!”
Student 1: “Oh yeah! Sorry, I think I wasn't paying attention at that point.”
Student 2: “Can I get up yet?”
Student 1: “But I want to practice my tourniquets!”
Student 2: “Not on me you bloody well aren't.”

- A group of students of the Glorious Equation overheard leaving a first aid course given by Raphael the Medic. Each carry a piece of paper, a certificate of some sort, bearing a red cross.

Also noted round the skies of the Glorious Equation are two airships bearing a distinctive red cross on a white background. They appear to be part of an organised communication network across the district that has established its self as a emergency response unit for any who require urgent medical attention. This appears to be very popular amongst the Glorious Equation but has yet to extend to other regions of the city.

Death in the Free Crescent

Taken from the pages of the Green Street Enquirer on the morning before the party:

20 dead in Union territory!

Last night the Free Crescent rang with shock and alarm as a patrol discovered the gnawed skeletons of no less than 20 people scattered across the crescent. Free Army investigators are perplexed by this wave of murders, but suggest that the bodies were eaten by what appear to be human teeth. The deaths are spread across a wide area, but the Green Street Enquirer has learned of a perturbing possibility; the oldest corpses were found on the city's rim, but the freshest found only a few hours ago was almost at the second river arc. Could the murderer be making their way toward the canopy?!


An Extract from a pamphlet distributed around this city, bearing a disclaimer stating that they do not necessarily represent the opinions of Mad's Men:

”…and it is thanks to the good work of level heads within the Pantheon that peace now reigns within the new cityscape. While conflict at first threatened to turn what should be a gleaming jewell into a blight upon the city, through mediation and patience, tranquility is restored. Now the good works being done by notable Pantheon members can begin to truly improve the lives of citizens of the district, uninterrupted by threats of violence or annexation.

Overheard in the local branch of the Golden Pyramid Teahouse:

“I suppose you have seen the posters proclaiming peace in the new district? I saw them and thought that it might be enjoyable to claim a building there, so I dispatched good Theodore to have a look. Oh, Theo, can you pass the sugar? Thank you. Well, as I'm sure Theo would tell you, the posters really weren't telling the truth. No sooner had he started looking around for a house to claim when a madman burst through the wall on the opposite side of the street, laying about him and fighting all manner of guards and bystanders. Of course Theo got away from the madman, didn't you dear? This rampage, however, set the lovely house he was inspecting quite alight - a fate, I hear, hat was shared by many buildings in the new area. Quite some chaos…”

Destruction and chaos has driven the owners out of many buildings, although strangely most of it was focussed on a line between the canopy and the new district.

Piracy Increase

An extract from speech given by a Union representative on policing the city
“I am concerned about the increase in piracy; lately it appears that nowhere is safe, not even in the outermost turns of the river. I dread to think what is causing this and hope that people can work together to bring down the pirates and reclaim the rivers for true law abiding people. We can’t have people stealing people’s hard earned goods…“

a concerned boat owner who lost his ship to pirates

“There I was just minding my own business when from around the corner swoops down a pirate ship and what happens next you ask? I am robbed and left standing on the bank in nothing but my underwear as my ship slowly sinks. What I want to know is what are people going to do about it? I'm boatless now, and I reckon it's only fair that I have one of the pirate's ships to make up for the loss of mine.”

Stopped Press

“The League of Independent Journalists would like to unreservedly condemn the terrorist actions of Mad's Men publicity agency in attempting to destroy a printing press belonging to a member of the Glorious Equation. We encourage healthy competition between those involved in the literary arts, but the use of violence to enact such competition is base and unacceptable. We have heard that the Glorious Equation has organised a boycott of Mad's Men's services, and would encourage all right thinking individuals who support the free press to do the same.”

A Gesture of Support

Written in a gossip column of one of the Renaissant's magazines:

“Niobe Riette has had a busy fortnight; despite no longer hosting the meetings of the so-called 'Riette Club' she has been busy spending political capital to aid her new friends and ensure that the events are well-attended. In particular, she has written glowing recommendations of the new Circle of mages that has claimed a large amount of the new district, giving them her backing and making them somewhat more favourably viewed in the Renaissant. How her political rivals in the Inheritors will respond to this is yet to be seen, although we can only assume Baron von Ranheid will have things to say.”

Grand opening of Sir Henry's Emporium of Grooming for Gentlemen

Opening today is the new outlet of Sir Henry's Emporium of Grooming for Gentlemen. Already incredibly popular amongst the well to do in the Renaissant, this new outlet aims to provide the finest in gels, foams, aftershaves and waxes for the gentleman concerned about his appearance to a whole new audience. The shop is located close to the University of the Glorious Equation where many fine and upstanding gentlemen work. At the opening Sir Henry, looking immaculate as always, has said that he is keen for a whole new audience to be able to better appreciate the joys of looking good whatever else you might be doing. Certainly his words seem to have had an impact for the shop was rarely seen empty during its opening week. Of particular interest is the new range of 'Endurance' products which are designed to withstand fire and other such trials that might beset a man at work in the Glorious equation. We for one at Ember welcome this bright new dawn of male grooming to a previously uncaring audience.

From the pages of 'Ember' - a society magazine notorious for its woodcut images that is published across the city.

Overheard in a bar in the Glittering District

“A most excellent night of entertainment all around. Master Thett does know how to put on a prize fight - good to be reminded of that after the rather dry debate. Drama too. You can always tell a defiant hero by the way they swish the cloak back as they draw a weapon on the one they've sworn vengeance on. Marvellous speech about Samovar's wickedness and cruelty, top marks for fighting off the guards. And the beautiful, delicious irony as the fist of that new statue of mister Thett fell and crushed the assailant where he stood. A bit of a shame about that man in the audience who caught the crossbow bolt in the chest, but at least it wasn't you or I, am I right?”


“And I ask you - to what end would one worship this Purpose? Its own priests are open about the fact that it is no true god, requiring of devotion for acts of power, so why would one choose to waste one's faith upon it. If, as is claimed, all acts should have a Purpose, then why encourage mortals to carry out one so obviously hollow and lacking. Worst of all, this being is not even here! Thousands of religions have come and gone promising some grand epiphany that will salve the souls of mortals, each one more empty than the last. Have faith in the gods you can see before you, and who can truly reward you for it!”

First Night

“I would like to dedicate this, the first performance of my life's work, to Architect! For years I have struggled to convince others that my vision is worth their time and investment, that I had something truly great to add to the theatrical world. But again and again, I was turned aside in favour of the safe, pedestrian works that bring sales but no true joy. Well no more! Tonight, you can witness art that comes straight from my very soul, unfettered by such matters as cost, logistics, and other impediments to creativity. To Architect, lens of creation, beacon of brilliance!”

A new theatre has appeared in the Glittering district, bearing the marks of Architect's church. A series of short plays has been performed since it's opening, with the god apparently providing all supplies needed, and use fo the theatre, free of charge.

Flyers seen around the city

Trouble shot? Let us help
Issues dissuaded
Problems manufactured for the problematic

McCain and Vansett, Bespoke solutions.

Looking for Trouble? Let us help
Issues dissuaded
Problems manufactured for the problematic

McCain and Vansett, Bespoke solutions.

Troubled? Let us help
Issues dissuaded
Problems manufactured for the problematic

McCain and Vansett, Bespoke solutions.

Each flyer bears the footnote that the opinions represented here do not reflect that of Mad's Men.

River Race announced

The way is made clear
Graceful Dove reveals the route
Many boats gather

Race in nine days hence
Competitors are called forth
Prize for the victor

From a pamphlet released by the White Lotus tea house


Copies of this declaration are distributed around the city. It is signed by ten individuals, most recognisable of which is Llestus, a God of Rainstorms.

We, the undersigned, do hereby formally open hostilities with the Union. For too long has the insidious taint of the anti-god agenda been allowed to fester at the heart of this organisation. The Pantheon and other divine beings are citizens of this plane as much as any other, and we feel that any organisation that would persecute beings based solely upon their nature has no place continuing in existence.

A release from the Union Press office:

The Union would like to fervently deny the existence of any anti-divine conspiracy within its ranks. While the actions of some divine individuals are greatly damaging to the city and its population, as an organisation devoted to equality the Union understands that you cannot judge an entire order of being by the actions of some of its representatives. The Union would also like to stress that membership is open to divine beings, and some gods are counted among the current membership. The Union does not intend to bring any hostilities agains the Pantheon's district, but will defend itself with whatever force necessary to ensure the safety of its people.

A lightning raid on Union territory occurs towards the end of the fortnight. With real lightning. A major rainstorm appeared to cover the entire raid, causing minor flooding.

Debating Divinity

Editorial from the Theological Observer

In this issue, we have a ringside report from the debate-turned-debacle at the hero pits, where Lumeor, noted blazing god of light, lost his cool under pressure. His opponent, Firstborn, came out somewhat better, and it was generally agreed that he acquitted himself most well in both the verbal and the physical sections of the debate. As well as a blow by blow account of both the debate and the ensuing fight from our own correspondant, we have interviews with spectators, including debate organise Attos, from which a clear picture of Lumeor as a god gone off the rails emerges. Special Feature pages 4-11. On page 12, Architectural critic Paige Jett explores the latest Horticultural masterpiece from the Academy of the World Spirit.


An Advertisement in Aviation Review

“This season's must have - The Dastolt Personal Flyer. Tired of facing the impossible choice between sharing a ride, or paying the upkeep on a full scale freighter? Dastolt Aviation Solutions has the answer - an airship small enough to park on your roof, but fast and reliable enough to get you and a passenger to your destination in record time. This month, we are introducing our racing model - just in time for the new sporting season! Contact Dastolt Aviation Solutions today to arrange a viewing.

The advert bears the seal of the Glorious equation


  • Have you seen? The circle district is green!
  • Something cut my leg to ribbons - but it's ART.
  • I got soaked by some water squirting flower
  • Attos is really keeping things under control in the new bit of the city, not like that Circle lot. I feel really safe with his men around.
  • So you know all those people at Niobe's parties? I hear every one has someone out to get them, and they've formed some kind of Evil League for efficiency.
  • Tea Merci. The koala tea of Merci is not strained.
  • “Did you hear? Locke is looking for a crew, he lost the last one in an unfortunate… explosion, but they say the pay is good!”
  • “I live beneath you, but now it is you who are beneath me! Ahahahahaha!”
  • The pain was bad, but the hallucinations are worse!
  • With the hellgators gone, what will keep the novacrabs in check?
  • What rattles around your skull? I can find out, if you're willing to pay.


  • Never sniggle in the slammer. (That's what she said!)
news/turn_3.txt · Last modified: 2011/11/01 14:42 by elliew
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